Who am I? A Process of Discovery and Letting Go

The beginning of self-realization is the question of one’s identity and existence. Only human beings are endowed with the ability of self-inquiry, and doing so indicates that extraordinary human intelligence is being engaged.

We are living beings. Living being means person, person means a sense of self or self-awareness, and self-awareness means identity. The development of identity is a very gradual process, or rather, an evolution.

Think of a newborn infant. What can be the identity of such a fresh child? ​
The only thing the newborn can truly relate to is its mother. Because the mother is the very source of its sustenance and life that identity is very complete. But as the child develops it soon recognizes others – father, brothers and sisters, and develops a familiarity and identity with them. Its sense of self thus evolves. The child learns to feel secure in the company of those that it sees daily, and by six months of age the child is able to recognize strangers – people that it doesn’t identify with.

As the child grows it becomes familiar with more places and people – it’s house, neighborhood, then school and all of the people associated with these places. In the process of doing so it continues to develop and expand its identity – first the son or daughter of these parents, the sibling of these children; then a student of such and such school and a citizen of such and such city, province, country. Growing further more relationships are developed and now this person, no longer a child, is the student of such and such university, then the husband or wife of another, the employee of such and such company.

As we grow it is normal to endeavor to further develop and enhance our sense of self – by promotions, position and title, authority over others, as well as through possessions and wealth that we acquire. As relationships develop we develop our ego, or our sense of self. These relationships and possessions thus provide us with the answer to the question “who am I?”

Our identity with these is often so complete that if we lose our loved ones, or spouse, through death or divorce we face an existential crisis. Suddenly losing our job, or having to relocate our residence can also create an existential crisis – our very concept of self becomes threatened by these changes in our life.

But the fact is that these are only temporary designations that have nothing to do with our actual self. This is understood simply by the fact that any or all of the external circumstances may change, say in a war, but we remain the same person. What are lost are the material designations that we had come to identify with. If all of the material designations can be lost and yet we remain the same person, then that begs the question: “Who am I – really?”

The Spiritual Science instructs us that we are an eternal spiritual being that temporarily makes use of a material body. The example given is that of a driver and a car. The car is a vehicle used for the purposes of the driver and it is a temporary relationship. A driver may have many cars. Similarly, the spiritual being, or jiva, makes temporary use of a body to fulfill its desires, and as those desires change it acquires different bodies that are suitable to fulfilling those desires. And although the jiva may identify completely with the body as it’s very self, that relationship is only temporary. Through the sojourn of our existence, life after life, we accept and then let go of one identity after another.

Another existential question that people often ask is “Why must we die?” We shall address this question in more detail in future posts, but the simple answer is that we develop many desires over the course of one life and changing bodies gives us the opportunity to fulfill all of those desires. Moreover, the process allows us to realize, eventually, that we have no significant connection with the material body other than using it as a vehicle to fulfill our desires. Eventually we begin to wonder who we are beyond the body.

The Spiritual Science informs us that we are spiritual energy, or spiritual being, but in order to truly function as a spiritual being we must develop a spiritual identity. The process of self-realization is thus the process of letting go of, and transferring our identity, not to another body and life in this temporary material realm, but to the people and places of the eternal spiritual realm. Until we do so we have no choice but to rotate in the temporary material realms life after life, developing and then letting go of one identity after another.

The Spiritual Science provides detailed information about the plane of eternal existence where we are not forced to change bodies, but live always happily in our actual spiritual identity. That accomplishment is the highest goal and perfection of human life. It is the permanent answer to the question: “Who am I?”